14. Pressure of Tolerance

              Interpersonal conflicts, in many cases, converts into conflicts of feelings. If the conflicts are in the field of academia, it is really rare case that people cannot bring its conflicts to friendship. Conflicts in religion are also easily converted into conflicts of feelings, if there is a man of religion who is expected to have tolerance, or a man who told that one achieved enlightenment and call them as a man of religion. In both cases, these are preferred conflicts because there are grounds to conflicts.

              Conflicts of feelings can be expressed as “unforgivable”. Unforgivable feelings can be attributed to the fact of the past, to the conflicts of thoughts or to cultural differences. Some might attribute these feelings to physiological sense, to emotion, or to “no reason”. If someone threats property or life, then unforgivable feelings can come out. Unforgivable feelings can be elicited by reason or unreason, although there are a few individuals who think its origin. It is because the feelings of unforgivable are temporal feelings that alleviate, extinct or shut it up before it is converted into concrete conflicts.

              In a daily life, in many cases, cost is greater than the benefit to express individual conflicts. It is impossible to obtain larger gain than the cost except for winning the litigation or settlements that enables for people to get a large amount of compensation. Conflicts are much larger costs for organization and the society than individuals. The case which is required to corporative attitudes or tolerance is recommended not because it is a moral but because it is profitable. One of the ideal goals of education is to cope with individual conflicts by smoothly and sociably. 

Considering to the Japanese society, its social condition— corporative attitudes are excessively demanded—prevent them from maturation of conflicts. Suppressed conflict energy is released to the target as bullying because bullying is a rare opportunity to release this energy. The unique Japanese bullying as social pathology— a lot of people can be forced to have corporative attitudes toward to the person who is bullying— is attributed to the absence of reasonable conflict experiences.

One of the remedies for this social pathology is to make people understand that rejecting or ignoring of unforgivable feelings as negative is unreasonable. People who speak ill of their supervisor with drinking should not be disrespect as immaturity of self-regulation. Whatever the form is, it is important to express or recognize these feelings. Excessive suppression as tolerance can distort the recognition of their natural feelings. It is required that people should notice its risk to distort people’s recognition and feelings.

It is also true that speaking ill of their supervisor with their colleagues cannot be conflicts. The important point here is to judge if it should be the problem to be dealt with speaking ill of or should make it real conflicts. If individual always attempt to avoid any conflicts because of cost-benefits calculations, then they may be prone to select the option which seems to make maximum profits. Yet, someone may have this thought as belief or may think it is inevitable judgments. There is however, not a few people disagree with that belief. These people believe that people can change their future society by their will and have the will to seek for the better world. It is natural that there are conflicts between people who recognize and take responsibility to long term goals, and people who are prone to get short term benefits.

Expressing conflicts can convert asymmetrical conflicts into symmetrical conflicts. In order to express conflicts, it needs to be the better grounds and technique of conflicts. That better grounds have to allow people to express their conflicts with reason and language in front of the opponents but not expressing as violation, speaking ill of, or conspiracy. 

This is the opened and flattered world where there is easy access to the Internet. The Internet can allow people to expose their information and utterance. This indicates that the Internet can be used as a basis or an infrastructure of conflicts. I think that people should use the Internet as means for this purpose.

The important lessons from the philosophy of conflicts are what people should reevaluate the origin of conflicts, should have the will to express conflicts beyond personal interests without thinking conflicts as negative, should make better grounds to reasonable conflicts, should have enough experiences of conflicts, should exclude the excessive corporation and should fight against tolerance pressure. Having these attitudes is the responsibility for future, and can produce hope and can help to preserve humanity.

Taking a conflict position appropriately is far better choice to suppress their feelings to avoid making conflicts in a daily life. Appropriate conflicts mean what expressing true reason and tell the reason of unforgivable feelings appropriately. It is easy to say. It is; however, difficult to practice it if there are asymmetry between standpoints. If people face to such a case, then they should consider the strategy that enables for individuals to express the conflicts and take an advantage of them. In this case, interpersonal conflicts turned into conflicts which connect to the third party.